MAG.E 4/MAG.E 4 (Disk 2 of 2).adf/87/87

Text File | 1977-12-31 | 12KB | 357 lines

@5THE QUOTES FILE-PART TWO!
=========================

@1Ask a Stupid Question...


@3Player: "Do any of the trees look hostile?"
GM    : "Er, well that one over there seems to be staring at you."
Player: "I'll stare back!"
GM    : "It out stares you."
                         -Andrew Boulton, (RQ39)

@2Taylor: "Can you actually drive this car?"
Mondo : "I'm a taxi driver - of course not!"
                         -Andrew Boulton, Eddie Curtis, (Psychopath6)

@3Repairman: "You haven't been washing your phone in the bath have you sir?"
Mondo    : "Of course not!" [pause] "I used the sink."
                         -NPC, Eddie Curtis, (Psychopath6)

@2Roland: "How many crew do you have?"
Barne : "Well, there's me..."
                          -Rob Povey, Andrew Tate, (RQ39)

@3Cop    : "What happened?"
Harvey : "I don't know - I was facing the shag-pile at the time."
                         -NPC, Graham Cook, (Psychopath6)

@2Jorhan : "What are you, some sort of coward?"
Harrick: [pause] "Yes."
                         -??, Big Steve Watson, (RQ314)

@3GM     : "How are you getting the message to them?"
Ghoster: "Errr...get an urchin to take it to them."
Alex   : "Why not tie it to a brick and throw it through the  window?"
GM     : "What, the urchin?"
                         -Mark Lavery, Yvonne Barker, (Cyberpunk15)

@2Jarad: "If he's a Dorian agent, why the hell did they crucify him?"
Torag: "Well, it's a damn good cover!"
                         -Sean Rowan, Andrew Boulton, (Psi World11)

@3Stormtrooper: "ID, please."
Outlaw      : (to GM) "What's my ID like?"
GM          : "What ID?"
                         -NPC, Cliff Billing, (Star Wars16)

@2Mugger: "Had too much to drink?"
Drunk : "Yeah!"
Mugger: "Spent all your money, then?"
Drunk : "No...ooops..."
                         -NPC, Mark Taylor, (Dragonships17)

@3[Josh is fighting a man with a lightsabre...]
Josh: "I kick him."
GM  : "He parries."
Josh: "What with?"
GM  : "What do you think?"
Josh: "Whaaat??!!"

...shortly followed by:

"Has anyone got a med-pak?  I appear to have lost my foot..."
                         -Josh, Andrew Rilstone, (Star Wars16)

@2Player 1: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Player 2: "No - but if I did, it wouldn't be half as interesting"

...later followed by:

Player 1: "Have you tried this before?"
Player 2: "Yes."
Player 1: "Did it work?"
Player 2: "No, but I think I know what I did wrong..."
                         -(???)

@3Chet : "Was the compass pointing East all the time?"
GM   : "Compasses normally point North..."
                         -Mike Sanderson, (Star Wars16)

@2"What kind of unexpected problems were you expecting?"
                         -David Carter, Andrew Boulton, (Cyberpunk18)

@3Fred  : "What exactly is going on?"
Lesek : "The Devil's work!"
Fred  : "But I thought you were a priest..."
                         -John Walls, Steve Kearvell, (Brothers in the
 Darkness13)

@2GM [to Mike]   : "You notice that he's bleeding from a large chest wound."
Mike Sanderson : "Hey! Did you know you're bleeding from a large chest
 wound?"
                         -(Bordertown19)

@3Player : "Is it safe?"
GM     : "Doing this sort of thing can get you killed."
Player : "Yes, but is it safe?"
                         -(Dark Brethren20)

@2Player: "Is there enough left to prove it's him?"
GM    : "Well, if they run a DNA check..."
                         -(Psi World11)

@3"Is it treasonous to eat a dead briefing officer?"
                         -Nyal-R, Nick Ingham, (Paranoia21)

@2"Can we forge an eyeball?"
                         -Mary Webster II, Andrew Moreton, (Traveller12)

@3"Aren't you a bit short for a vampire?"
                         -John Smith, Andrew Boulton, (Heads of State35)

@2John Smith: "Aren't you a bit short for the Grim Reaper?"
Death     : "How about 'Happy Harvester' then?"
                         -Andrew Boulton, NPC, (Heads of State35)

@3"Can we arrest her for being Death?"
                         -(Heads of State35)

@2Jaques : "Why didn't you kick the light out?"
Gordon : "I didn't have any legs!"
   -Simon Parkinson, Graham Cook, (Cyberpunk31)

@3Derek Muir   : "Where does Mephis go for a quiet drink on his night off?"
Cliff Billing: "The mortuary?"
                         -(Cyberpunk31)

@2Michael: "I don't work for NNI anymore."
Jacques: "Why not?"
Michael: "They sacked me."
Jacques: "That's a good reason."
                         -Richard Lambert, Simon Parkinson, (Cyberpunk31)

@3Lily : "How come your family are buried here?"
Local: "'Cos they died."
                         -(Brothers in the Darkness13)

@2 "Is he a female?"
                         -Andrew Moreton, (Traveller12)

@3John  : "There's some connection between these six people you're going to
 kill?"
Gertha: "Yes - they're all going to die!"
                         -Andrew Boulton, NPC, (Heads of State35)



@2GM      : "You see Shipley on the bed with a prostitute."
Meredith: "What are they doing?"
                         -John Walls, (Brothers in the Darkness 238)

@3Pauline: "What are you going to do with us?"
NPC    : "I'm going to kill you!"
                         -Jim, (Brothers in the Darkness 238)

@2Gilda  : "Why did you sell your soul?"
Horace : "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time..."
                         -???, David Pratt, (Heads of State35)

@3"What's that invisible clanging noise?"
                         -(Heads of State35)

@2"Is there anything valuable moving around the room?"
                         -(Heads of State35)

@3PC         : "Is it good gooey stuff or bad gooey stuff?"
John Lyons : "It's always good gooey stuff."
                         -(Beansprout36)

@2Adam  : "Which Death do you mean?"
Helin : "The current ex-Death."
John  : "Ah, the friendly Death!"
                         -Andrew Moreton, Lee Bohan, Andrew Boulton,
 (Heads of State35)

@3PC1 : "So, does Franklain have a personal problem?"
PC2 : "No, he's just monstrous."
                         -(Brothers in the Darkness13)

@2Psycho: "They won't see the muzzle flash."
GM    : "Why?"
Psycho: "Because they'll be dead!"
                         -Sean Rowan, (Cyberpunk15)

@3Clive:  "When last seen, Kiell was arm-wrestling 6 warbots, and
holding a building up with his bare head.  Dragan was behind
him going "wibbleski wobbleski!"
Tarlin:  "Who won?"
                         -Sean Rowan, Andrew Boulton, (Aftermath!10)

@2[FX: hiss of escaping gas]
Darv : "Aren't you supposed to light that at some point?"
Clive: "Oh, yes!"
[FX: click...FA-DOOOOOM!]
                         -Andrew Boulton, Sean Rowan, (Aftermath!10)

later...

Tarlin: "Why have you got no eyebrows?"
Darv  : "It's a long story, involving Clive and a welding kit..."
                         -Andrew Boulton, Andrew Boulton, (Aftermath!10)

@3Fred : "Excuse me, Mr Green, do you remember exploding?"
Edgar: "No, I haven't exploded recently..."
                         -Pete Eaton, Arthur, (Heads of State35)


@2David: "Why not try it then?"
Rik  : "'Cos it's going to get us killed!"
                         -David Corby, John Denholm, (Northland of
 Dreams39)

@3Laurie : "Will the bike be okay if I leave it here?"
Volcane: "It'll be under different ownership, but it'll be okay."
                         -Nick Ingham, Dave Watson, (Cyberpunk15)

@2NPC           : "What are your names?"
Steve Kearvell: "Err...what are our names?"
                         -(Brothers in the Darkness 238)

@3Death: "Can I come in, please?"
Hans : "That depends - are you here on business?"
                         -(Dark Brethren20)

@2GM     : "Colonel Marcus goes out and shoots things with his men."
Player : "Why doesn't he use bullets?"
                         -Pete Jackson, (Aftermath10)

@3Callan: "Aren't you dead?"
Kaleb : "Do I look dead?"
Callan: "Well, actually you do, but I didn't like to mention it..."
                         -Andrew Boulton, Yvonne Barker, (TTYS42)


@2Callan: "Are you insured against terrorism?"
Alice : "What?"
Callan: "You know - fire, theft, explosions..."
                         -Andrew Boulton, Paul Marrow, (TTYS42)

@3Alice: "They claimed they were part of MI5."
Cop  : "In Milton Keynes?!"
                         -Paul Marrow, NPC, (TTYS42)

@2NPC   : "Why didn't you leave it alone?"
Callan: "Because I wasn't expecting it to be green and blotchy and going
 'Eeeeeh!'!"
                         -Andrew Boulton, (TTYS42)

@3Player: "What happens if I get killed here?"
GM    : "You'll die!"
                         -Nick Jackson, (Northland of Dreams39)

@2Rik  : "Is there anyone living above us?"
David: "Not anymore..."
                         -John Denholm, David Corby, (Northland of
 Dreams39)

@3"Hey, I remember you - didn't I murder your family?"
                         -Ironblade Jr, (Dark Brethren20)

@2NPC : "What guarantee can you give me that you won't go to the
 authorities?"
Hans: "Well, we are running an illegal operation here..."
                         -(Dark Brethren20)

@3Stewart: "We've found some graves."
Kinney : "Anyone we know?"
King   : "Yeah - us!"
                         -(Night of Ice50)

@2"Does anyone recognise these ribs?"
                         -James, Andrew Moreton, (Sudden Death43)

@3Mary Webster Iv: "Don't worry - Kaleb's upside down, in the
shower, tied up in your underwear, with a bashed-in skull."
Tarlin Ravella : "Why?"
Mary Webster IV: "Good question!"

followed shortly by...

Mary Webster Iv: "You can't call security."
Tarlin Ravella : "Why not?"
Mary Webster IV: "He's tied up with your 'phone."
                         -Andrew Moreton, Andrew Boulton, (Psi World11)

@2"Does anybody recover for second watch?"
                         -Tom Stradling, (Sudden Death43)

@3"Anyway, how did that smell happen in my tent?"
                         -Ilkir, Ed Allison, (Sudden Death43)

@2Yanika   : "Where the Hell is this capital city, anyway?"
Seamus IV: "Four days from here, to the North. Remember to ride quickly."
Yanika   : "Why?"
Seamus IV: "Because otherwise, it will take more than four days..."
                         -Anton Abrahams, NPC, (AD&D40)

@3"I assume that you have no objection to talking to yourself in a
 corridor?"
                         -GM, (Psi World11)

@2"Before we mug you, are you a werewolf?"
                         -Urm

@3"When you're in werewolf form, what do you eat?"
                         -Urm

@2Pallart: "Is anyone willing to jump into the inferno?"
Ymh    : "Not today, I've got a headache."
                         -Pete Eaton, Tim Kirk, (Something Horrible47)

@3NPC       : "Where did you get the truck?"
Dave Bowen: "It fell off the back of a lorry."
                         -(Raining in UV56)

@2Ivan: "I've had a traumatic experience."
GM  : "What?"
Ivan: "He survived!"
                         -(Raining in UV56)

@3Player 1: "Is anyone behaving conspicuously?"
Player 2: "Yeah, you!"
                         -Dominic Macnamara, Nick Ingham, (Catflap57)

@2Ivan          : "What's the point of inventing a spell that kills
the person who reads it?"
Darren Roberts: "What else would you put in a birthday card?"
                         -(Trust Me58)

@3GM    : "Do you have an equipment list here? All I can see are guns."
Player: "That is the equipment list!"
                         -Sean Rowan, (Aftermath10)

@2"Just how can you fumble feeding pigeons?"
                         -Tom Stradling, (Aftermath10)

@3GM    : "You can't get into the car park."
Player: "Why not?"
GM    : "Because you're not a car!"
                         -Mark Lavery, (Traveller12)

@2John:     "We have the ivory from a herd of elephants."
Assassin: "What did you do, find an elephants graveyard?"
John:     "No, we made one!"
                         -Andrew Moreton, NPC, (Aftermath10)

@3NPC:   "Who do you think we are, an army?"
Deita: "No - that's why we're picking on you!"
                         -Tom Stradling, (Aftermath10)

@2"I have some dead people outside - would you like to meet them?"
                         -NPC, (Aftermath10)

@3 Copy from another: plagiarism. Copy from many: research.

@1Andrew Boulton